Earlier this week, Oprah Winfrey announced that she will have an out of the ordinary show this Monday. Winfrey explained to her audience that she will be reunited with a special family member from her past. Harpo Inc. declined to give any further information regarding the reunion, shedding little light on the details beyond a few quotes from Winfrey herself.
“I was given some news that literally shook me to my core. This time, I’m the one being reunited,” she said. “I was keeping a family secret for months, and on Monday you’re going to hear it straight from me.”
The Weekly World News will not wait for the Big O to divulge her little secret. We put our crack investigative team on the case to uncover the Oprah family dirt. After hours and hours of searching and sleuthing, up and down, in and out, tapping all of our sources, WWN finally discovered who the mystery guest will be for this Monday’s show.
Oprah has an identical twin!
The thought of the queen of media having a twin should not be that much of a surprise. Winfrey was born a bastard child to unmarried teenage parents – Vernon Winfrey and Vernita Lee. Being that her parents were children themselves, when Vernita Lee gave birth, alone, to twin girls she immediately knew that she could only care for one.
Vernita Lee left Oprah’s sister, Orpah, in a picnic basket at the steps of the French Camp Academy, a 900-acre Christian boarding school and community, some 30 odd miles from Kosciusko, Mississippi, where the girls were born. Oprah has always said that her name on her birth certificate was Orpah – but now we know that there were two names on two birth certificates.
The young, single mother was heartbroken to leave Orpah, but she knew that it was the right thing to do.
It is unclear what happened to the Orpah after she was abandoned. Did she flourish in the Christian community and devote a life to the ministry? Did she run away and succumb to an unsavory lifestyle on the streets of Jackson, MS? Did she garner the same level of success as her superstar sister?
To find out the answers to these questions and many more, all of us will have to watch this Monday’s episode. The Oprah Winfrey Show airs Monday through Friday at 4pm on ABC.
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Friday, January 28, 2011
Aliens to attack earth on 2011
Three giant alien spaceships are heading for Earth! Scientists predict they will arrive in early 2011.
UFO encounters continue to increase – as documented on WWN. And today scientists at SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), an independent non-commercial organization, made a major announcement:
“Three giant spaceships are heading towards Earth. The largest one of them is 200 miles wide. Two others are slightly smaller. At present, the objects are just moving past Jupiter. Judging by their speed, they should be on Earth by early 2011,” said John Malley, the lead extraterrestrial expert at SETI.
The spaceships were detected by HAARP search system. The system, based in Alaska, was designed to study the phenomenon of northern lights. According to SETI researchers, the objects are extraterrestrial spaceships. They will be visible in optical telescopes as soon as they reach Mars’s orbit – sometime in March of 2011. The US government has been reportedly informed about the event.
SETI researchers have spent fifty years monitoring space. Professor Malley said that they have conclusively proven that “we are just newcomers in this huge and unexplored world. Many believe that there are many other civilizations in space beside our own civilization.”
Wikileaks recenlty released many classified documents that prove that NASA and high-level U.S. official are aware of the three spaceships and are making plans to battle the spaceships. They have been concealing information from the U.S. public for decades. Wikileaks also confirms that the UFO sightings over the last three months prove that the alien invasions (long predicted by SETI) has begun. The three spaceships will mark the official beginning of the alien invasion.
Malley said that recently a Chinese official, Mao Kan, had obtained over than 1,000 secret NASA photographs depicting not only human footprints, but even a human carcass on the surface of the Moon. Some of the bones in the carcass were missing, the official said. The human corpse must have been dropped on the Moon from an alien spaceship, whereas the extraterrestrials kept some tissue samples for research.
Dr. Ken Johnston, former Manager of the Data and Photo Control Department at NASA’s Lunar Receiving Laboratory, said that US astronauts had found and photographed ancient ruins of artificial origin on the Moon. US astronauts had seen large unknown mechanisms on the Moon.
Both Johnston and Mao Kan agree that the alien spaceships are heading for Earth.
Beginning in February of 2011 the U.N. will begin preparing citizens of the world for the attack of the three spaceships – which are believed to come from Planet Zeeba. Tweet
UFO encounters continue to increase – as documented on WWN. And today scientists at SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), an independent non-commercial organization, made a major announcement:
“Three giant spaceships are heading towards Earth. The largest one of them is 200 miles wide. Two others are slightly smaller. At present, the objects are just moving past Jupiter. Judging by their speed, they should be on Earth by early 2011,” said John Malley, the lead extraterrestrial expert at SETI.
The spaceships were detected by HAARP search system. The system, based in Alaska, was designed to study the phenomenon of northern lights. According to SETI researchers, the objects are extraterrestrial spaceships. They will be visible in optical telescopes as soon as they reach Mars’s orbit – sometime in March of 2011. The US government has been reportedly informed about the event.
Wikileaks recenlty released many classified documents that prove that NASA and high-level U.S. official are aware of the three spaceships and are making plans to battle the spaceships. They have been concealing information from the U.S. public for decades. Wikileaks also confirms that the UFO sightings over the last three months prove that the alien invasions (long predicted by SETI) has begun. The three spaceships will mark the official beginning of the alien invasion.
Malley said that recently a Chinese official, Mao Kan, had obtained over than 1,000 secret NASA photographs depicting not only human footprints, but even a human carcass on the surface of the Moon. Some of the bones in the carcass were missing, the official said. The human corpse must have been dropped on the Moon from an alien spaceship, whereas the extraterrestrials kept some tissue samples for research.
Dr. Ken Johnston, former Manager of the Data and Photo Control Department at NASA’s Lunar Receiving Laboratory, said that US astronauts had found and photographed ancient ruins of artificial origin on the Moon. US astronauts had seen large unknown mechanisms on the Moon.
Both Johnston and Mao Kan agree that the alien spaceships are heading for Earth.
Beginning in February of 2011 the U.N. will begin preparing citizens of the world for the attack of the three spaceships – which are believed to come from Planet Zeeba. Tweet
correct answer to a math problem
The following was on a student's paper which I saw (I didn't save it, sorry)
64/16 = (cancel the 6's) = 4/1 = 4
The answer is, of course, correct
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64/16 = (cancel the 6's) = 4/1 = 4
The answer is, of course, correct
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Tuesday, January 25, 2011
GUTS OR BALLS
GUTS OR BALLS
there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls? We have all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home very late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom in her hand, and having the Guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, "You are next, Chubby."
For more updates on other hilarious stories that will make you wet your pants, just like our Facebook page and you can also share your funny stories, thoughts, comments or just anything funny on our Facebook page wall and we shall share them to the world…
situations that make you go OH CRAP! Tweet
there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls? We have all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home very late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom in her hand, and having the Guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, "You are next, Chubby."
For more updates on other hilarious stories that will make you wet your pants, just like our Facebook page and you can also share your funny stories, thoughts, comments or just anything funny on our Facebook page wall and we shall share them to the world…
situations that make you go OH CRAP! Tweet
Friday, January 21, 2011
Megan fox is a man
LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man.
When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.”
At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.
However, she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man.
Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.
By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.
As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense. Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.
Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.
Megan, as she goes by now exclusively, also noted this Sunday how much she wants Salma Hayek’s figure. She has even scheduled surgery later this month to get it. After the two met in New York this week, Hayek offered to have a cast made of her bust so doctors can match them exactly on Megan Fox’s chest.
The internet is already speculating whether this news will be worked into the plot of the upcoming Transformers sequel. Tweet
When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.”
At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.
However, she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man.
Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.
By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.
As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense. Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.
Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.
Megan, as she goes by now exclusively, also noted this Sunday how much she wants Salma Hayek’s figure. She has even scheduled surgery later this month to get it. After the two met in New York this week, Hayek offered to have a cast made of her bust so doctors can match them exactly on Megan Fox’s chest.
The internet is already speculating whether this news will be worked into the plot of the upcoming Transformers sequel. Tweet
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Lecturer's quotes HAHAHA
Yesterday i was in class listening to a fairly boring lecture. I was even yawning more than i was listening. The lecture noticed the boredom on the blank faces of the students who seemed not to understand anything. He then started talking about the nature of his work and this is what he claimed responsibility is "the work of a lecturer is not to teach but to give HOPE" he also claimed the work of an examiner is to discriminate and to eliminate. This led him to claim that the reason for failure of examination is not that we dont know but we differ in opinion with the examiner. This really made my day
Monday, January 17, 2011
I dare you to try this in the supermarket
I read this somewhere about how to make supermarkets fun and decided to share these crazy ideas with you all..hahahaha
1) Sing loudly as you shop. If anyone stares, follow them around the supermarket singing even louder.
2) If someone picks juice, whisper in their ear, "You will get diarrhoea for a week with that!"
3) Drop a couple of worms in the bread & Pastries section.
4) Come with your own stickers written FREE and attach to a few products. Then go to the check-out section to watch the drama.
5) Pretend to work there, then give people wrong directions.
6) Ask an attendant for help while picking your nose.
7) Drop packets of expensive condoms in women's shopping baskets and tampons in Men's.
8) Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through yell, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
9) If there is a long queue, repeat the cashier's calculations with a pen and paper. Insist you have been overcharged and request them to follow your calculations step by step.
10) Go to the furniture section, pick one bed and pretend you are deep asleep despite the attendants efforts to wake you up. When you finally get up, ask for breakfast.
1) Sing loudly as you shop. If anyone stares, follow them around the supermarket singing even louder.
2) If someone picks juice, whisper in their ear, "You will get diarrhoea for a week with that!"
3) Drop a couple of worms in the bread & Pastries section.
4) Come with your own stickers written FREE and attach to a few products. Then go to the check-out section to watch the drama.
5) Pretend to work there, then give people wrong directions.
6) Ask an attendant for help while picking your nose.
7) Drop packets of expensive condoms in women's shopping baskets and tampons in Men's.
8) Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through yell, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
9) If there is a long queue, repeat the cashier's calculations with a pen and paper. Insist you have been overcharged and request them to follow your calculations step by step.
10) Go to the furniture section, pick one bed and pretend you are deep asleep despite the attendants efforts to wake you up. When you finally get up, ask for breakfast.
For more updates on other hilarious stories that will make you wet your pants, just like our Facebook page and you can also share your funny stories, thoughts, comments or just anything funny on our Facebook page wall and we shall share them to the world…..
learn how to be rich:Think and Grow Rich
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Sunday, January 9, 2011
things you neva want to hear during ur surgery
1. Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?
2. Hand me that...uh...whatever its called.
3. Accept this sacrifice O Great Lord of Darkness
4. Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!
5. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
6. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
7. You know...there's big money in kidneys...and this guy's got two of them.
8. Could you stop that thing from beating? Its throwing my concentration off.
9. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
10. That's cool! Now, can you make his leg twitch?
11. You sure it wasn't this leg?
12. What do you mean you want a divorce?!
13. Fire! Fire! Everyone out!
14. Damn! Page 47 of the manual's missing!
Damn. If I ever woke up in the middle of a surgery and heard any of these.
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