A young man was lost wandering in a
forest, when he came upon a small
house. He knocked on the door and
was greeted by an ancient Chinese
man with a long, grey beard. "I'm
lost," said the man. "Can you put me
up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said,
"but on one condition. If you so much
as lay a finger on my daughter, I will
inflict upon you the three worst
Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the
daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came
down the stairs. She was young,
beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.
She was obviously attracted to the
young man since she couldn't keep her
eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning,
he ignored her and went up to bed
alone. But during he night, he could
bear it no longer, and sneaked into her
room for a night of passion. He was
careful to keep everything quiet so
the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn
he crept back to his room, exhausted,
but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his
chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that
read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock
on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he
thought. "If that's the best the old
man can do then I don't have much to
worry about." He picked the boulder
up, walked over to the window and
threw the boulder out. As he did so he
noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left
testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw
the rope that was already getting
close to the end. Figuring that a few
broken bones was better than
castration, he jumped out of the
window after the boulder.
As he plummeted downward he saw a
large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied
to bedpost."
forest, when he came upon a small
house. He knocked on the door and
was greeted by an ancient Chinese
man with a long, grey beard. "I'm
lost," said the man. "Can you put me
up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said,
"but on one condition. If you so much
as lay a finger on my daughter, I will
inflict upon you the three worst
Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the
daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came
down the stairs. She was young,
beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.
She was obviously attracted to the
young man since she couldn't keep her
eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning,
he ignored her and went up to bed
alone. But during he night, he could
bear it no longer, and sneaked into her
room for a night of passion. He was
careful to keep everything quiet so
the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn
he crept back to his room, exhausted,
but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his
chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that
read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock
on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he
thought. "If that's the best the old
man can do then I don't have much to
worry about." He picked the boulder
up, walked over to the window and
threw the boulder out. As he did so he
noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left
testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw
the rope that was already getting
close to the end. Figuring that a few
broken bones was better than
castration, he jumped out of the
window after the boulder.
As he plummeted downward he saw a
large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied
to bedpost."
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ouchie
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