Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Please SHAVE!!!
Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."
She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it."
They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."
She says, "Thank you."
He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"
She says, "Go ahead."
He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"
She says, "Of course."
He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."
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Wednesday, November 23, 2011
WTF Sex facts: chapter 3
Men are said to find women with enlarged pupils more sexually attractive
Dust mites indulge in 24hr sex marathons
According to studies, the larger a man’s testicles, the more likely he is to be unfaithful
Women over the age of 40 years of age are more likely to masturbate than any other age group
The average woman will have sex more than 3000 times over the course of her reproductive years
During sexual intercourse, in addition to the genitals and breasts the inner nose also swells
Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, the same chemical responsible for the ecstatic high people experience through sexual attraction and love
A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (the reason is because of the release of endorphins) so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex
Given today’s average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would take the typical American couple more than 4 years to try every one of the 529 positions described in the kamasutra
The Japanese used two kinds of condoms, one was made of thin leather while the other was made from tortoise shell or horn
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Monday, November 21, 2011
FUNNY STUFF ON PEOPLE’S T-SHIRTS
Woman by birth, bitch by choice
SURVIVE THIS (printed right across the breasts)
I lost my virginity, can I have yours?
You can pay for sex but AIDS is on the house
[on a toddler’s t-shirt] allergic to tidiness
On a guy’s t-shirt- If lost please return to the bar
Am a virgin, PS the t-shirt is old
I found your eyes, it was in my ‘business’
[on a guy’s T-shirt] objects below are larger than they appear
[on a girl’s t-shirt] Insert to be milked
Keep staring…your boyfriend wont notice
You’re not looking on the right road now be careful
You look like my next girlfriend
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Friday, November 18, 2011
Question and answer; funny but true
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer?
A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Because breasts don't have eyes.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.
Q: Whats a blondes favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me. "
Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.
Q: What are the small bumps around a woman s nipples for?
A: It's Braille for 'Suck here.'
Q: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?
A: Her navel.
Q: Why do women have tits?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: What's the difference between a pub and a clitoris?
A: A guy can find a pub.
Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.
A: It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer?
A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Because breasts don't have eyes.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.
Q: Whats a blondes favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me. "
Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.
Q: What are the small bumps around a woman s nipples for?
A: It's Braille for 'Suck here.'
Q: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?
A: Her navel.
Q: Why do women have tits?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: What's the difference between a pub and a clitoris?
A: A guy can find a pub.
Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.
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Thursday, November 17, 2011
Best Break dance ever (video)
I seen people break dance but I have never seen anybody move this way. I don't think he is from earth. The guy needs to go to a hospital to be checked out
The Greatest Marriage Proposal ever (video)
Is this the Greatest marriage proposal ever? I have never seen anything as creative as this so to me it is. You watch it and be the judge and share it with your friends.
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Greatest Freakout ever (video)
I have never seen any kind of freak out like this. This is soo funny. One may think the kid is possessed. Just watch
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Monday, November 14, 2011
WTF crazy facts: Chapter 3
To take an oath ancient Romans put a hand on their testicles
In West Virginia, if you run over an animal,you can legally take it home and cook it for dinner
Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts
The cicada, a fly around Africa spends 17 years of its life sleeping and only two weeks awake during which it mates then dies
There is enough fuel in a tank of a jumbo jet to drive an average car four times around the world
In the last 3000 years there have been approximately 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world
Every year 11000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions
The number of births that occur in India each year is higher than the entire population of Australia
In 1879 a drug was introduced to treat morphine addiction. The drug was cocaine
The average female orgasm lasts four times as long as the average male
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Friday, November 11, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Clever Insults: part 2
Finally a way to insult somebody and still look intelligent...really intelligent
11. I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you
12. I thought of you all day. I was at the zoo
13. I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high
14. I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
15. I would like to leave you with one thought...but I am not sure you have anywhere to put it
16. I would love to go out with you but my favourite commercial is on tv
17. I will never forget the time we met- although I will keep trying
18. I am busy now, can I ignore you some other time?
19. I have seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission
20. If I ever need a brain transplant, i would choose yours because I would want a brain that had never been used
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11. I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you
12. I thought of you all day. I was at the zoo
13. I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high
14. I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
15. I would like to leave you with one thought...but I am not sure you have anywhere to put it
16. I would love to go out with you but my favourite commercial is on tv
17. I will never forget the time we met- although I will keep trying
18. I am busy now, can I ignore you some other time?
19. I have seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission
20. If I ever need a brain transplant, i would choose yours because I would want a brain that had never been used
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Monday, November 7, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
WTF Sex facts: chapter 2
Amy Winehouse’s junky ex husband has been left out in her will. The singer made provisions that he wont get a penny
After a break up, women who do not use condoms are 3 times more likely to have rebound relationship than women who do
There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world
Sacofricosis is the practice of cutting a hole at the bottom of your pant pockets so you can masturbate in public without detection
If you are a plushophile, you are sexually attracted to and quite possibly have sex with stuffed animals
Bleaching, dying, coloring, styling, tinting, straightening, over-brushing and scratching your head can all cause hair loss and baldness
Hanged men become erect as they die
Most men who see prostitutes are married
Women who smoke average twice as many sex partners as those who don’t
A well-run strip club can gross as much as $5million per year
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Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
IT’S A CRAZY WORLD
There was once a man and his dog,
whom were stranded on an island. One
day, the man was really desperate and
wanted to have sex real bad, so he went
round the island, hoping to find a woman
or something. All he found was a
wooden barrel. So with that, he poked a
hole through the middle of the barrel and
screwed till he was satisfied. Ever since
then, he used that to fulfill his sexual
desires.
One day, his dog, has the sexual urge
too, so it decides to use the method that
its master have been using. So the two
of them used the barrel until they died.
About 50 years later, the island was
founded by a group of old nuns and they
built a nunnery there. One day the Chief
Nun found a certain barrel which
contained a loadful of wax, so she took it
and made them into candles. The
candles were then being used to light up
the nunnery in the dark until one day, a
nun got naughty and decided to satisfy
herself with the candles. She thoroughly
enjoyed herself from that.
However, 10 months later, she rushed
into the Mother Superior's room and
said, "I've got to confess, I used the
candle to screw myself 9 months ago
and now I have a baby."
Mother Superior then replied, "You're
more fortunate my child, I've got a
puppy..."
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whom were stranded on an island. One
day, the man was really desperate and
wanted to have sex real bad, so he went
round the island, hoping to find a woman
or something. All he found was a
wooden barrel. So with that, he poked a
hole through the middle of the barrel and
screwed till he was satisfied. Ever since
then, he used that to fulfill his sexual
desires.
One day, his dog, has the sexual urge
too, so it decides to use the method that
its master have been using. So the two
of them used the barrel until they died.
About 50 years later, the island was
founded by a group of old nuns and they
built a nunnery there. One day the Chief
Nun found a certain barrel which
contained a loadful of wax, so she took it
and made them into candles. The
candles were then being used to light up
the nunnery in the dark until one day, a
nun got naughty and decided to satisfy
herself with the candles. She thoroughly
enjoyed herself from that.
However, 10 months later, she rushed
into the Mother Superior's room and
said, "I've got to confess, I used the
candle to screw myself 9 months ago
and now I have a baby."
Mother Superior then replied, "You're
more fortunate my child, I've got a
puppy..."
OTHER FUNNY STORIES
Nuns in Heaven
A really Bad day
First thing to after jail
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